The Awkward Questions
by Ginakabina
Summary: After an incident during recess, the boys ask their teachers questions about sexuality which leads to drama in South Park. Previously 'How It Began'
1. Beginning

Nobody really knows when Tweek and Craig became an 'item'. Everyone knew about the one day couples in elementary school two kids are'boyfriend and girlfriend' for a day or even for a class period. When Tweek Tweak and Craig Tucker held hands during recess one day the kids were confused, no one had seen two little boys hold hands like a boy and a girl do.

Wendy thinks they became a couple after their big fight and they were stuck together in the hospital, she's convinced Stan to think so too.  
Kyle and Kenny think that the two joined together before the fight and nobody really noticed and that's why Tweak was hesitant to fight him.  
Cartman just doesn't care.  
Token and Clyde were understandably extremely confused to see the two holding hands but didn't object.

The fact is that the little squirmy blonde and the deadpan black haired boy were holding hands .

And Weny Testaburger had to know what exactly what the hell was going on between her cousin and Tweek.

Wendy walked over to them, Bebe and Red by her side, and asked "What's going on?"

Craig shrugged, not sure what to say but also didn't really care to answer his cousin's answer.

"Hmph. I'll just come over to your house during Red Racer if you don't tell us!" Wendy scrunched up her nose, she was curious for an answer.

Craig's eyes slightly widened, trying to keep the expression of being unfazed "Oh well."

Bebe whispered in Wendy's ear, squinting at Craig, and Wendy repeated what her friend suggested, "We'll take Stripe out of his cage and let Mr. Slave shove it up his ass!"

"Agh!" Tweek placed his hands on each side of his face, mimicking The Scream.

Craig gasped, and answered the girl's question of 'What was going on?' with a big kiss on Tweek's cheek.

The girls of course giggled, thinking the kiss between the two boys was extremely cute.

The boys, however, did not.

Cartman saw this from the corner of his eye, "Weak!"

Kyle and Stan turned their heads to Cartman's attention, Kyle raising his eyebrows "Dude, what's Wendy making them do?!"

"That's freaking cute, sure it's fucking faggy but it's better than seeing Stan puke on Wendy." Kenny muffled underneath his parka.

The recess bell rang and the kids filed in rows to be escorted back to their classes, Tweek and Craig holding hands with a blush across both of their faces.

"W-We can't do that ever again!" Tweek squeaked softly as he dug his fingernails into his scalp. "Too much pressure! What if they see us! What if..What if... What if we get in trouble and we become social o-utcasts and never have any friends or family and it'll just be us! GAH!"

Criag stared at Tweek for a while, nodding. "Whatever you say, Tweek babe."

One thing about the two's relationship was that Craig always threw in little pet names, he thought it was cool considering all the studs on television tell their damsel in destress either darling or babe.

Once everyone was scrambling into their classrooms, Stan just didn't understand how Craig and Tweek would kiss on the cheeks! He'd seen BeBe kiss Token before on the cheek, but that was different because well, it looked normal. Stan remebered that Big Gay Al had told him to accept the gays.

"Hey Craig?" Stan walked over to the fellow black haired boy, hands in his pockets.

Craig looked up from his work, raising an eyebrow "Yeah?"

"The guys and I were talking about that day when you kissed Tweek on the cheek. We were all wondering how'd that exactly happen." Stan smiled slightly,"I'm pretty sure my Uncle Jimbo and his friend Ned are gay together."

"Yeah, your Uncle Jimbo tried screwing my dad at a party, but he was pretty drunk and Ned's a redneck." Craig looked back down at his work, hiding a blush as he heard Tweek's soft squeaks.

"It's okay if you're gay. Sparky, my old dog, was gay." Stan nodded slowly.  
Craig snorted slightly, "You're comparing me to your dead dog now? If I was gay I wouldn't tell you anyway, you'd probably tell Wendy and she'd tell her mom and her mom would tell my mom and all that jazz."  
Stan shrugged and walked back to his seat, muttering "Who says all that jazz anymore?"

Kyle rose his hand after talking with Cartman and Stan a bit, "Mr. Garrison?"

Strangely enough, Mr. Garrison was still their teacher "Yes, Kyle?"

"If someone was gay, do you think they should just come out and admit it?" Kyle bit his bottom lip.  
"Agh!" Tweek squeaked.

Mr. Garrison smiled and rolled his eyes, "Oh Kyle, if you and Stan have the hots for each other just wait til High School, Stan will probably be at least six feet tall, you, Kyle, probably 5'5 ish on account of you're Jewish. So, wait a little bit before you two start shoving sausages up your asses."  
"What?!" Kyle looked at Stan, mortified."No,dude! There's these...kids in our class who kissed on the cheek before and they're both dudes."

Butters twiddled his knuckles together, "Wait?! Eric and I? I...I only did that cause I thought he was gonna die of AIDS!"

"NO BUTTERS, YOU DUMBASS. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT CRAIG AND TWEEK! THEY'RE FAGS!" Cartman nearly busted out of his seat.  
Tweek pulled at his sunny blonde hair "AGH! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!"  
"So?! Pip draws pictures of that one Damien kid all the time! Does that make HIM gay,fatass?" Annie piped up, squinting at Cartman.  
Pip bit his lower lip and stared down at his notebook, "Yeah! So what?"

Cartman rolled his eyes, clicked his tongue and said matter a factly, "Pip is French, therefore he is automatically a fag."

Craig shrugged and patted Tweek's girating shoulder, trying to calm him.

"That's very nice, now does anyone else have any secrets you all want to share?" Mr. Garrison. rolled his eyes, and sighed as he pushed on the intercom button, "Principal Victoria, can you send Mr. Mackey to my room these bastards are yelling at eachother...about things Mr. Mackey should hear, I just don't want one of these kids to go home and jump off a bride or some shit like that."

"Wait, am I gay because I dressed up as a girl?" Butters looked at Cartman, shocked.

Kenny squinted, "Does that make me gay?! I dress up as a girl all the time...With Butters!"

"I...AGH! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek banged his head up and down on his desk.

Mr. Mackey walked into the door, "What the hell is going on?"

"Apparently Craig and Tweek kissed during recess and all the kids think they're gay." Mr. Garrison brought Mr. Hat to his chest and walked out of the room, muttering quietly, "Kids these days, Mr. Hat I just don't understand it."

"So, who wants to talk first, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey sat down on Mr. Garrison's desk, then got up once he saw how much it was stained in ejaculate.

Stan rose his hand, sighed and looked at Mr. Makey, "How do gay people have sex? Do they really shove their..dicks into each other's asses?"

"Sick, man!" Kyle swatted at Stan's hat.

"What's the big freaking deal? Just because I like Tweek like Stan likes Wendy doesn't mean anything, I just like him, don't you guys see how cute he is? Even Stripe likes him." Craig spoke up in his nasally little voice.

"That's freaking gay, man." Cartman groaned and looked to Token "I hate faggots."

Token just raised a dark eyebrow.

Mr. Mackey nodded slowly, "M'kay..what does anyone else have to say?"

Tweek shook his head and curled his small shaking body into Craig's chest, muttering about a place with sunshine and puppies and kittens.

"Yeah! Why is everyone making a big deal about it? Token and I knew that Tweek and Craig had something going on.I know I cried about it, but if you guys really think of Craig or Tweek as your friends you'd understand that they're happy with each other." Clyde groaned, his eyebrows drawn together.

Craig looked up at Mr. Mackey and smiled "We went to the zoo together, Tweek really likes anteater. I like the capybaras. We both like penguins, even though the penguin house smells like Cartman."

"AY!" Cartman squinted.

"Mr. Mackey? Am I gay? This one time Kenny and I dressed up in dresses and played lesbians..I, well, kissed him and we..scissored like girls. Kenny saw it in a video before." Butters bit his lip nervously and rubbed his knuckles together, "Please don't tell my parents.."

Kenny muffled, "We promised not to tell anyone, Butters you butthole!"

Mr. Mackey looked down at his hands and muttered, "Where's Big Gay Al when you need him?" The large headed teacher stared at the door where he was sure that Big Gay Al would enter at any time, but he didn't. Instead, Mr. Mackey buzzed the intercom button.

"Yeah, uhm..Principal Victoria..the kids are asking about homosexuality and cross dressing and I don't know if I should tell them to accept it or not accept it, m'kay."

Principal Victoria sat in her office and thought for a moment, "Call the parents, I don't want you to preach to some little 10 year olds about buttsex."

"M'kay..bye." directed his attention to the students,"Kids, I'm going to have to call your mothers and tell them to teach you about this. I'm not going to touch this anymore."

Kyle's eyes widened, "Oh shit, dude! My mom will probably kill someone."

"That's cause you're moms a big fat bitch!" Cartman snickered.

Stan looked to his friend, eyebrows raised, "Wait, Your mom worked with Big Gay Al, she must love gays!"

Pip flicked Cartman and squinted, "By the way, I'm not French. I'm British."

"Nobody cares Pip, Nobody cares if you went back to France, Nobody would care if you died." Cartman sighed.

"Mr. Mackey! You can't call my parents, I'll get grounded." Butters softly whined, as he heard Clyde begin to cry nearby.

Mr. Mackey bit his lip and patted both of the boy's back, "There there, don't cry, m'kay. The message will just say 'Hello, parents, this is Mr. Mackey the school counselor and we need you to discuss your views on homosexuality due to their confusion."

"Ohhhh..." The kids all nodded in union as if their problems were all solved.

As if.

* * *

Super sucky.. First South Park thing I ever wrote..  
There will be more chapters..


	2. Stan, Cartman and Kyle

Oh shit, I suck ass.

In all honesty, I try my best to make the characters stay IN character and not go all over the place . Super short and sucky chapter .

* * *

Stan walked home from school that day instead of taking the bus home. He just needed to clear his thoughts. Sure, he had heard of gay people before and ripped on them too. He just wondered if now that he personally knew people who may be gay did that mean he couldn't rip on the homosexuals. He even had a gay dog, and possibly a gay uncle.

Stan walked into his front door and watched as his father, Randy, sat on the couch watching television "Dad? Is Uncle Jimbo gay?'

"Hell if I know." Randy popped open a beer bottle and sipped it.

Stan sat next to his dad and tilted his head, "There's these kids at my school and they were holding hands. Are they gay? I mean, I've only seen Sparky...get ontop of other male dogs...and yeah..the kids at school weren't doing that. They were just holding hands. But, Uncle Jimbo and Ned don't hold hands..but they sleep in the same bed." The boy in the poof ball hat stared at Randy's beer bottle and sighed.

As Randy was about to answer, HIS father rolled in "You talking about that fru fru brother of your's? I just don't know what I did to make him gay... at least he's got more of a brain than you and your wife put together. I mean, I even gave him porno magazines with my own seed on them and he's still living with that one-armed jutebox."

"Dad!" Randy squinted, "That's no way to talk around Stan!"

Grandpa Marvin sighed and shook his head as he scooted away in his wheelchair, "I still don't know how the hell my step-son got the heeby jeeby gayness..Maybe his real dad stuck things up his ass."

"Eww, Dad!" Randy groaned, focusing his attention on his son,"Well, Stan... I think this is something you should talk to your mother about. She's at work still." Randy gently tugged at his collar, not knowing how to answer his son.

Stan nodded once, got up and began walking to Tom's Rhinoplasty. He passed the theater, the school and the park. Stan watched the kids as he passed the park, Clyde Donovan and Token Black were playing in the sandbox laughing until one of the sixth graders pulled up and threw sand on the pair. Turning around so he wouldn't get hurt by one of the sixth graders, Stan heard Clyde crying in the distance but Stan knew Token would coo him back to laughing. As Stan kept walking, he wondered if Clyde and Token had ever held hands, and were they gay too? Stan shook his head and kept walking until he got to Tom's Rhinoplasty and strolled up to the counter where his mother, Sharon, was.

Sharon smiled, "What a surprise seeing you here, Stanley. Did your father burn down the house with his damn cooking?" her expression changed as she thought about that.

"No...Mom..is Uncle Jimbo gay?" Stan looked innocently up at his mom.

"Well, Stan, between you and me, I think so. I mean I've never seen a straight man sleep in the same bed with their friend in little cherry red boxers, but that's just my opinion. Why?'

Stan sighed, "There's these two boys at my school in my grade who held hands today at recess. And..then my other friends were talking about dressing up as girls... I was just wondering, like...how does that happen?"

"Uhm, well, Stanley, it just does. O-Oh my god, YOU don't think YOU'RE gay, do you, Stan?" Sharon's eyes widened.

"Hell no, Mom. I like Wendy." And with that, Stan walked out of the nose job center.

* * *

"Moooooooooooooooooom!" Eric Cartman whined as he sat on his couch in the living room, watching Terrance and Philip and eating bacon dipped in whipped cream.

Ms. Cartman poked her head through the door way, "Yes, sweetums?"

"How do gay people have sex?" Cartman pushed the bacon into his mouth and nommed.

Liane walked to her son and smiled, "Well, there's a lot of ways gay people can make love. My favorite position to watch is the-"

"MOM!" Eric interrupted, "I just want to know how the hell they do it! Do they..just..I don't know..Are they really butt-rammers?"

"Well, the man puts his who-dilly into another man's booty-coo instead of a woman's chacha...then sometimes they put their firemen together and lick the hoses before they get squirted in the eye." Liane Cartman nodded, smiling widely.

"Oh...CAN I HAVE MORE DAMN WHIPPED CREAM?!"

Ms. Cartman rose from the couch and smiled, "Coming, pumpkin."

"Sweet."

* * *

Kyle ran his hands over his hat and sighed, staring down at his dinner plate.

Sheila Brofloski turned her focus to her son, "Kyle, bubbe, you've hardly touched your dinner. Is there something the matter?"

"It's just..at school..my classmates held hands...but they're boys ..does that mean they'll grow up to be like Big Gay Al?" Kyle tilted his head, curious. "Craig and Tweek were holding hands..."

"Craig Tucker? I always knew he was a bad influence on you, bubbe..and Tweek Tweak the Tweak's son? That Tweek sure is messed up in the head, I wish the Tweaks, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak didn't feed their son so much of their coffee. Wait?! They're allowing sexual touching in school?! I must call Principal Victoria, The Tuckers and the Tweaks!" Sheila stood up and rushed to the phone.

"Oh, boy." Gerald Brofloski sighed. "Kyle, I just want you to know this, it doesn't make you gay if you jerk off in a hot tub while another guy watches."

Ike smiled sweetly "Bullshittta!"

"O...kay.." Kyle forked at his meatloaf, knowing asking his mother would open the doors to hell.


End file.
